Cockney Chic? À la Coke? I don't get it!

HAS the world gone mad.

Kate Moss, that unholy of unholies, anathema to anything mildly resembling taste, sophistication, class or elegance, is set to design for Longchamp, a French brand of leather goods and accessories that seems to me to embody everything that she does not.

+

= say quoi?

The noughties were clearly the decade of the celebrity, where we (and by we I mean everyone but me, seemingly) wanted to eat, beautify, holiday and dress exactly the way celebs did. I was hoping that this decade would be about the celebrity backlash, celebrating individualism and all that but so far all we've had in the fashion world is news of collaborations so ludicrously unrelated to each other that you have to wonder if CEO's of fashion companies are all on crack (Tony Blair and LVMH anyone?)

Moss modeled for Longchamp in 2006 has been more or less a permanent fixture at the brand ever since. She helped design the Legende bag (apparently the red lining was her idea - genius!) and has been featured in pretty much all their ads since 2007. Everytime I saw her campaigns I'd just squeeze my eyes shut and hope that she'd have dispersed into nothingness when I opened them but this nightmare is clearly here to stay.

Oui, Kate. I too mourn the loss of style.

I love Longchamp. I have three Le Pliage totes in varying sizes and colours and have been contemplating adding a couple of their leather handbags to my collection but have been precluded from doing so by a) my proximity, or lack thereof, to anywhere that has anything remotely resembling a Longchamp store and b) my inherent vegetarian dilemma about refusing meat but lusting after leather.

Longchamp stands for reserved, understated chic, a way of life that let's face it, is quintessentially French and seems to belong almost exclusively to the Parisienne, but that's never stopped the rest of us from trying to emulate it in any way, much to the company's benefit. The pairing with Kate Moss makes no sense but is regardless understandable - Kate Moss is widely regarded as a fashion icon (pourquoi, je ne sais pas - outfits one can only call braless wonders, a permanent expression of sneery drunkenness and prematurely wrinkly skin doth not a fashion icon maketh). She fits the mould of the nonchalantly renegade mistress of the social scene that has recently become so desirable to women around the world (for reasons, once again, that are completely lost on me). For a brand that's trying to amp up their street cred and appeal to a younger market, she's a villainously perfect fit, I will admit.

What I don't understand is why Longchamp feels the burning need to sell out the way it has.

p.s. In other news, as was earlier feared, it has now been confirmed that Sarah Jessica Parker is indeed set to take on a definitive role at Halston, although the capacity under which she will do so has yet to be announced. The joy.